Emetophobia: what is it like to live with it?

We are all sick at some point in our lives. Whether it be as a baby, catching a bug, drinking too much or bad reaction to some dodgy food. Most people in life think this is an unpleasant normality. But for some, this is one of the scariest things in the world. Emetophobia is the fear of being sick, or anything that surrounds being sick, such as seeing someone be sick, hearing someone be sick or looking at images or videos on a screen. It’s a debilitating phobia to have which can manifest into many other issues in life.

That being said, it is curable. For someone who suffers with Emetophobia and is struggling with whether they will ever live a life without it, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are so many stories of people getting over it, whether they have had it for a year or 70 years! It may feel like the biggest mountain to climb but if you put the effort in it’s like stepping over a stone.

This post isn’t going to delve into how to get over Emetophobia because there are so many different ways, but the best way I can offer is to do the Thrive Programme. I have done a previous post about this programme and I can’t suggest it enough!

Anyway, let’s get into how it actually feels to live with Emetophobia. Not going to lie, it sucks a lot of the time. For a group of people who are terrified of being sick, we probably feel ‘nauseous’ most of the time. Whether it’s real nausea or made up nausea, it’s extremely unpleasant at times. 

Usually Emetophobia (from what i have learnt) begins early in childhood. Usually it presents more within girls as they have been conditioned to think that burping, farting, pooping and other bodily functions are unladylike and gross. Whereas for boys growing up, it’s funny amongst their cohort to rip a huge burp or fart in the changing rooms. Usually girls are made to feel embarrassed or ashamed of their normal bodily functions. This therefore stems through into later life or even earlier, whereby the thought of being sick is something utterly disgusting and shameful.

Often Emetophobia isn’t really the thing that is causing the anxiety in the first place. It can be the symptom of something much greater. If we think of Emetophobia as a tall block of Lego bricks stacked on top of each other, we can see that the fear is made up of so many different components (the bricks). By taking the bricks off one by one and understanding what each brick is and why it is there is a great way to begin the process of getting over your Emetophobia.

Being an Emetophobe is hard not going to lie. It really challenges you in basic daily functions. We find the fear in literally anything, that things around us will cause us to get ill and then ultimately be sick. At times your Emetophobia may be worse on days where you’re feeling super tired, socially exhausted or stressed out about something. On those days, your brain feels like it’s on high alert ready to go into fight or flight mode. You could be having a shower and then suddenly look up at the shower head and notice the limescale and think “that’s going to make me sick”. Or it could manifest into obsessive thoughts over the food you’re eating, checking sale by dates excessively or even avoiding food completely for the thought that it will make me sick.

When experiencing a panic attack as an Emetophobe, your whole panic attack can manifest itself into being sick. For example, you just got some bad news, or you were shouted at in a meeting by your boss which causes you to panic. Suddenly the worry just flips into the idea of being sick and you ruminate over the thought of being sick over and over again. It literally feels like it wont leave your head and that it would be the end of the world if that were to happen. So the situation that you were presented with in the first place isn’t really that relevant because all your energy goes towards protecting yourself from being sick.

An example of one of my many panic attacks (being an Emetophobe) was my first day at a new job in an office. I knew from the minute of walking through the doors of that office that it made me feel on edge. I took a step too far in getting an office job at the time because I knew from previous experience that I didn’t like them and they made me feel anxious. Anyway, I was in a meeting in a small confined room whereby I was sitting on the farthest side of the room being trapped by 3 other people next to me. I had to concentrate on what was being shown on the slides in front of me, but I couldn’t concentrate on the boring excel. My mind was going haywire that if I needed to be sick I couldn’t get out of the room in time. This thought literally plagued my mind and suddenly the thought turned into “well you are going to be sick so you need to get out now!!!!!!”. I felt burpy and shakey and boiling hot. My eyes were darting all over the place and I needed to come up with an excuse to leave. I suddenly cut off my project manager and said “may you please excuse me while i go to the toilet”. As I rushed out I hit my head on a lamp and they all were so stunned and laughed (it probably was quite funny to witness from an outsider’s perspective). But as soon as I left the room and got fresh air, the worry completely disappeared and i didnt feel sick. It was just this rush of adrenaline and the obsessive thought that something bad was going to happen if I didn’t get out of that waiting room in time, like I had a ticking time bomb over my head.

I want to give you as readers an example of a panic attack of mine that surrounded the idea of being sick. Even though most of mine are about being scared of being sick, this example is a clear indication of what went wrong in my head and how I wasn’t helping myself. If we can pick it apart it’s completely obvious why I had that panic attack. 

• My first day of work: I wanted to make a good impression. Socially anxious of what others would think of me if i panicked
• Not liking office based work: I already felt on edge. 
• Being in a small confined room with loads of people: claustrophobia
• Already anticipating the anxiety before it even got there.
• Ruminating on thoughts of being sick, when there was no evidence of why I would be sick. There was nothing wrong with me.

A top tip that I can give you as a fellow Emetophobe is to write down or take note of what each panic attack feels like. If you can see an obvious pattern with psychological symptoms and physical symptoms, the next time you feel this way you can say “this happened before because of XYZ and nothing bad happened in the end, i will cope just like i did before”.

If you know someone who suffers with Emetophobia, the best thing to do when they are experiencing a panic attack over being sick is to distract them with stimulating objects, rather than getting them to speak over how they feel. This is because sometimes in the heat of the moment speaking about it can make it worse. Try giving them some ice to hold, or throw a small tennis ball between the two of you, or get them to engage in something that involves using their hands, like folding a piece of paper in a specific way. It will distract them away from the panic. Also don’t get annoyed if they ask the same question over and over again because at that moment in time they are seeking complete reassurance that they won’t be sick. They need evidence as to why they won’t.

Living with Emetophobia does suck, like living with any mental illness, it really takes a toll on you. It impacts your quality of life because it stops you from doing the things you enjoy at times, it can stop you from taking positive risks and trying out new things. It can feel like you are labeled as a huge hypochondriac and that your feelings aren’t valid because they aren’t ‘real’. The problem with the label hypochondriac is that it’s deemed as silly. But if we actually think about those who suffer from being hypochondriac, it must be extremely scary to be on edge, constantly thinking something is wrong with you. It’s a real condition and one of which must be taken seriously. We wouldn’t take the piss out of being depressed, having panic disorder, or having OCD, so why do we take the piss with hypocondriacs? Just like every other mental illness, it must be treated depending on the extent to which it is affecting your quality of life.

From personal experience it does feel a little embarrassing to have Emetophobia because it feels childlike that I hate being sick. It feels weird to admit that on this blog because Mind 0ver Matter is all about embracing anxiety and normalising speaking about it and to not be afraid or embarrassed, but here I am admitting that I get embarrassed a lot of the time. So don’t feel disheartened if you feel that way too, because we all do at one point or another! I started doing the Thrive Programme in 2023 summer and it really did help for a while to reduce my fear of being sick. What it did was stop the ruminating constant thoughts of actually being sick. I kept telling myself “if you think it’s going to be chill then it will be chill”. I don’t know why but saying that over and over again when I entered triggering scenarios really helped and it still does.

The worst thing that could happen is that I am sick. To me, I’d rather a lot worse things to happen to me than this outcome because of the phobia. It’s not because of the actual act of being sick, it’s because of the massive fear I’ve built around it. We could all do that about anything. I could tell you that your TV is going to come alive and suck you into it and you will be stuck in it forever. If i kept telling you that, eventually you may start to believe it and then become fearful of the TV sucking you in. It’s because of the massive build up of emotions you feel this way towards a phobia. 

I am still on my journey of getting over my Emetophobia, and I know one day i won’t feel this way anymore because i have evidence of it going away before, and it not being so prevalent in my life. So if you’re reading this, whether you have Emetophobia or not, you know that nothing is forever. It may feel like a massive mountain to climb but I promise once you have the tools it will only feel like stepping over a small rock.

If you are suffering please reach out to someone. There are so many support hubs available and therapies that deal with Emetophobia. CBT, Thrive Programme, medication, exposure therapy etc. But whatever you do, try and stay away from WebMD and Chat GPT!!!!!!!! It doesn’t help at all. Trust me.

Here are some humorous examples of my relationship with Chat GPT and how it only makes things worse.