A chat about caring for someone with anxiety

At one point in our life we will encounter someone close to us who is dealing with anxiety. Whether it be the stress of life, work, relationships etc or someone who is dealing with crippling anxiety, we as humans strive to do our best in helping someone fight their battles with their thoughts.

Today’s post focuses on the other side of the conversation. The side of the carer, the one who is helping solve the problems and calm the anxiety. Today I will be discussing a conversation I have had with multiple people who have cared for someone close in their life who has suffered with anxiety over many years. We shall delve into what they think is the best way to help someone with anxiety, what it is like to care for someone with anxiety and how it affects their mental health. It is extremely important to discuss the other side of the coin as those who know someone who is suffering may need support themselves or be seeking advice on how best to cope with caring for someone who’s needs may be at an all time high in a moment of crisis. 

“What do you hyping is the best way to help someone with anxiety”

“First and foremost it is about trying to offer them reassurance without diminishing what they are feeling, and appreciating, no matter how extreme or unlikely their anxious thoughts may seem, they are true and real to them. To encourage them to find sense and a degree of rationality amongst their anxious thoughts. To be confident that no matter how bad it feels in the moment, the moment will eventually pass.”

“Amending their point of view to something more positive. Putting the anxiety into perspective so it doesn’t become an anxiety for the future”

“The best way is to always be gentle, supportive, remind them that a bad feeling is temporary, and that whatever the situation is upsetting them right now can be changed or undone (ultimately fixed). In the midst of an anxiety attack – hold your tongue about feelings you might have of wanting the person to push themselves until you’re both calm, straight – thinking about the situation. Given time, once both people are happy and comfortable, then you can offer some advice and have a straightforward conversation”

“What is it like to care for someone with anxiety”

“It is difficult that no one without any professional background has the answers and as much as you can go on your own gut instinct of what you have learnt from reading around the subject you are always a measure away dealing with someone experiencing panic or in a very vulnerable place. It can feel isolating and cut you off from the life that you knew before you were caring, you will find that when you are open and you talk honestly with friends and acquaintances that you are not alone and the person you are caring for is part of a community of people that feel the same way and so often out there you aren’t the only one who is helping someone with anxiety.”

“It is nice to be a comfort blanket for a person, it makes you feel worthwhile and strong. Sometimes caring can become frustrating and tiring. You can feel like you have to hold back on being honest at the risk of greatly upsetting someone – which in turn can feel like a step in the wrong direction, also the responsibility to be that carer/comfort can be heavy. As long as the person listens and you care about them enough- it isn’t so difficult.”

“How does it affect your mental health”

“It is tough and the goal is to remain strong and with your own good mental health so you can be there for them and support them. But it isn’t always that easy. What is nice is that when you see the person you are caring for soar and feel better, this makes all the caring worthwhile and makes life happier to see them feel happy too. Always remember to check up on yourself a lot of the time if you are caring for someone with anxiety / their soul carer”

“Occasionally you can feel under stress. Sometimes I felt wrong in the things that I said and made me feel as if I wasn’t helping that much or making things worse. I think it may actually have challenged me to think inwardly and become better morally. Overall I did not feel my mental health being negatively affected by caring for someone with anxiety. What it does do is open my mind up a little more to what goes on inside others brains. I found that a positive and intriguing experience.”

Speaking to these three people who have all cared for someone with anxiety at one point in their life was an amazing experience to see the other side of the conversation. As someone who has needed to rely on others for help for a lot of their anxiety, it opened up my mind to see how I may use the techniques that they offer to help myself and for me to become my own main carer.

Many of us who experience extreme anxiety and need someone to support us through the tough times feel as if we are a burden, but what we need to be cognoscente of is the time and effort others put into us because they care. As I always say, no one is an island and so if you are someone who is caring for someone and need some tips and tricks, I hope these perspectives have offered some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Always check up on yourself whilst caring for someone and create those boundaries to allow yourself and the person you are caring for some time to breathe. It is extremely important that the person you care for is aware that they, in time, should care for themselves as well as receive support.

If you know someone who is going through a hard time and you are lost on how to support that individual please see the links on my homepage for help.